A little retrospective writing, but I felt I need to write about it. I thought that pregnancy and stress are mutually exclusive, but I think they attract each other. Fear is different, it seems natural to me. Whenever I didn’t feel well, the first thing that occured to me was whether the little baby in my tummy is well. But by stress I rather mean the feeling that I always had when I had to decide for something or to solve something from medical point of view and there were many of those moments.

The first one was to examine a suspicion of Down syndrome. I deliberately write the suspicion because it’s just silly statistics, according to which at my age the examination doesn’t make too much sense. After a long discussion with my doctor it turned out that if I do this ultrasound I can improve the results for my age group. But if I am against the amniotic fluid examination (where the real risk of abortion of a healthy baby exists) then it really doesn’t make sense to do anything. The result was few sleepless nights and thinking about the right decission and finally I got “rejected” in a box for this examination in my Pregnancy Record.

Another problem sugar. I’m already used to the fact that I’m, as Andrej would say, sweet, but the nurse looked at me every time with such fear that I felt like I will not survive till the next morning. And when I slightly exceeded permitted values in a sugar test I started to worry too. With a little soul I went to diabetes specialist, who welcomed me laughing that every second or third pregnant women has this kind of problem, that my diet is very good and I only have to eat less but more often measuring sugar values continuously. Finally, someone explained to me what it all actually means.

Stress was gone until my results did showed that I was dehydrated even though I drank three liters of water daily. I don’t know what was the origin of this problem. Nothing was found and I just took the common antibiotics against infections to get rid of strange bacteria and I only prayed it works so I don’t have to run to another specialist. God heard me and not the last time.

When I had a feeling that I finally can relish the rest of my pregnancy our baby decided to stay in a breech position. We tried moxibustion that is a type of acupuncture where the specific points on the body are heated up with a special Chinese cigar. In most cases, it causes that the baby inside is surprised and quiet for one or two days and then it turns around suddenly. Well, it didn’t work for us but we ended up ventilating our bathroom after this cigar about a week, burning scented candles in it and everything had to go into the washing maschine. Then I tried various types of positions, handstand and inversion. We tried it with music and a moving flashlight on my belly, but Olivia always only kicked a little bit, shook her head and that was it. That was the fun part. Then we had to register at the hospital for delivery. When we arrived to the closest hospital, they repeated several times that they don’t do the vaginal delivery in this case and they explained with worries that it is very risky. Then the doctor leading the birth department came to explain us (like in som kind of advertisement so they do not lose us as customers) that they do the external cephalic version (ECV). Altogether, they were nice and we did made a termin for ECV, but I was sick of all those documents about local anesthesia, potential risks and that all the roads lead to caesarean section. It was clear to us that they simply are not qualified for a vaginal breech birth, but still it was mentally demanding. In principle, this all is caused by a faulty study from Hannah ME that made the two generations of doctors not learn how to lead vaginal breech birth. I’m not saying that it brings no more risks then standard vaginal delivery, but if the baby is healthy and it also suits dimensionally it’s definitely a better alternative than the c-section (more on this topic here). Our midwife Anja sent us to register at the hospital in Neuperlach in Munich as well (one of two hospitals in Munich that allow vaginal breech birth, although we found no info about it on the web site of the other one). Dr. Sandner there explained us everything around the delivery. With heads full of information we came home and I think that was the last straw for me. Anja called me several times if I were okay. Well, this is so when you do care if you are cut or not. If more women cared, it would certainly change the whole approach. Luckily, the team in Neuperlach did care despite the fact that there must be more specialists at the vaginal breech birth than normally, and the hospital gets the same amount of money and still about seven times less than for a c-section and it’s not a small amount. I think Olivia was fed up too. The day before ECV, she decided to go out and she was in rush. We went to the hospital around lunch and she was already there at quarter past six in the afternoon. She also took care of a good mood. A midwife and a doctor had to hold her quickly moving leg inside me until she moved down with her bottom as well. It was unforgettable to stroke her little foot with all the mini fingers.

We were lucky, but I am really glad that this happened. I got rid of my belly earlier than I relished it. Two weeks after the delivery I still had a weird feeling that there is something mising in my belly. Somehow we met very nice people who were also of the opinion that the women should decide alone how the birth of their child should take place. I just hope the stupid fashion of c-sections in so natural act will be over and women are more informed and particularly resistent to psychological pressure from a doctor side.